Cover page:

Teenage love

What is your thesis? How did this particular argument come about?

Thesis:

“Oh, to be young and in love.”

I believe ‘love’ to be the most impossible word to define in the universal language because it depends on so many factors such as the past experiences of an individual, their role models, and their goals.

This particular subject came to mind because it is one of few subjects I feel strongly about, other than the other one’s that have already been taken by other people. =] I am also curious to write about it – to see if I can form such an anti-fact into a persuasive essay.

Who's your audience and what techniques do you use to make your writing speak to their concerns and interests?

My audience being my English comp 1 class is drawn to my writing because it usually includes something of interest. This subject alone is a difficult one to tackle and one that many I’m sure will have disputing opinions on. Throughout my writing I tend to include casual humorous remarks to lighten the mood and to create more of an argument. I find this enables the reader to actually comprehend the facts I am throwing at them instead of mindlessly scanning them. The more thought process I can stiumulate within the reader, the better response and constructive criticism I will get in return.

Upon reviewing your completed composition (and process), what aspect of your work (or it's process) most surprised you?

I am a bit disappointed with how it all came together and I realized it is harderthan I thought to convey how I feel about something, explaining it without a bias tone, and eventually make me statement with a continuous flow.

Did you learn anything new while growing your composition? Explain. When you use secondary sources, do those sources contribute to ethos, logos, or pathos appeals

I used a few everyday facts in there that should appeal to logics as they contain numerical information. The subject of love with always appeal to a person’s pathos, and we touched on feelings of ethics when culture came into play.

To define love is to cut a hole in smoke. You can imagine you did, and convince yourself that you did, but all the while it was impossible. I believe love to be the hardest universal word to define simply because it depends on so many factors such as one’s past experience, role models, their goals and what morals all of this eventually instilled inside their minds.

It is generally believed that the sole purpose of life on earth is for procreation. We were simply put on this earth to find the other person that makes us tick and eventually produce offspring. This arises many questions such as is there someone for everyone? Is fate involved? Is love just the intense feeling of lust? The questions are never-ending and I’m sure change with every person. However, there are 3 main groups. Love is everywhere. Love is rare. Love is nonexistent.

Those who believe love is everywhere were usually surrounded by a loving family who did not get divorced, rarely fought, and always kept their chins up. These people tend to confess their undying love for more than a couple people rather soon in the relationship. These fortunate souls also believe in love at first sight and that anything is possible.

The ‘Love is nonexistent’ category consists of those who were surrounded by fighting and had relationships end badly either with death, fidelity, or consistent disappointment. Their surroundings have given them no reason to think optimistically and therefore it hinders their ability to try in their relationships. Again these are broad categories and there are exceptions to everything.

The final category is for realists who are not optimists nor pessimistic so to say, but simply go with the flow. They believe the matter of ‘true love’ is a rare one, and only few people are lucky enough to find their true soul mate. These subjects have balanced experiences of bad and good relationships, either ones involving themselves and a significant other or a relative relationship they were constantly around.

Other factors include the time period each relationship occurred in, weather their own or the one influencing their morals. During the 60’s, war was constantly being ensued and it was normal for teenagers to get married before their big strapping men were sent off to war. To most of these families, the catholic belief that divorce was simply unacceptable prohibited them from ever facing reality – though an equal portion was just as happy as the others were miserable. Today, woman are now chasing their dreams and pursuing careers which has increased the age at which most women get married. Culture is also a very important factor for some countries such as those in Africa base their economic living off their children. The more family members, the quicker the chores get done and more food can be harvested which encourages marriage. Past experiences that could hinder triumphs of ‘love’ could be a young abortion that left a stain on the heart, or even a first boyfriend who broke your trust so badly it is no longer worth the risk. Awful things happen to couples everyday such as beatings, rapes, and infidelities; and in a world full of hate, it makes it just as hard to see past the dark and strive for the light on the other side of the un-cut-able smoke.

This is where the conversation begins to take form. I believe it is improbable that love is attainable before a certain age. I believe the term ‘love’ is thrown around too easily and therefore has lost meaning. If ‘I love you’ is not longer a statement to be taken seriously, then the basis of life will change. (more so for girls, but that’s not the point J ) it makes me sick to watcha 16 year old girl walk up to her boyfriend of a 4 days and say I love you, then followed by the breakup not that has mascara trickeling down it. As a member of the ‘realistic’ category, love is rare, and love is not easily attained nor simply forgotten. To love someone is to enjoy that person for who they are body, mind, and soul, bad days or good. To accept that there are going to be rough times where fighting is necessary and some compensation might be needed but not enough to compromise who you are. This brings me to my point associated with age. With age, comes experience ; with experience comes knowledge ; and with knowledge comes wisdom. The mistakes and choices every person makes in their younger teenage years defines their decisions later, and everything happens for a reason. Whether it’s recognizable or not, a previous decision changes your next move. You can’t move the knight piece if a pawn is in your way. Once the pawn is moved however, there could be a better action than previously conceived. The possibility of the queen swiftly moving across the board on a person’s first time playing, however it does happen. To make general statement about young love existing is insane.

More than half of today’s marriages are lost to divorce and I believe it to be afflicted by the rush into relationships at such an early age and the casual use of the phrase “I love you.” Babies are being born earlier than generally desired and our economic standing is being affected by our high divorce rates. Though the divorce courts give people jobs, this world would be better off without it. Fixing these rates could alter the percentage of each ‘love category’ and put more happiness into the world, possibly truly fulfilling our ‘purpose’ of being here. To find love is rare in itself, to be young and in love is even rarer. Don’t settle, but don’t be stubborn. Don’t forget who you are but remember who you want to become.

ALEX MOSER ---  I agree with a lot of what you have to say. Love is a strong subject that with the help of Hollywood and the media is being misconstrued. Teenagers and the youth of America are getting taught the wrong message of what love is. There are so many contexts that love can be used in today , the family, friends, or relationships. Many of us say we love certain foods, stores, places, songs or movies. Because of this in a sense slang use of love it is being carried over into relationships. This is not something that everyone relates to. It does have to deal with the environment you are raised in. Over all your paper was very well organized and you picked a topic that meant something to you. Good Job i enjoyed reading it.

           Alex:

                   Thank you very much for your comments, it has helped me to better my opinions and make them stronger.

 Liz Wilson---

I definitely agree with what you are saying that love comes with time and experience. It's not something that comes around very often, the word has definitely lost its value because of all the meangingless 'relationships' where so many people are in 'love.' I'm still kind of iffy on where you stand on the issue... maybe find a clearer way to state the cause and effect of love? Do you think love complicates things or people complicate love?

I like how you put your opinion into your writing without being overbearing. I can easily relate with what you are saying and your opening and closing statements captivate the audience.

I have to admit then I came back and read Becky's peer edit on your paper (to help me help you :)...)and I think that it is awesome that there are genuine people who understand love and what it takes to find love. I think there are many different forms of love and you can be in a relationship where you love a lot of qualites about the person, but you will never realize what love is until it comes around. You may think you love someone, but then you break up and you are heartbroken... and let's say the next guy you meet turns out to be the love of your life. It's something that hits you all at once and you can't feel it until it's been there. But when it's there you know it.

                        Liz:

                              Thank you for your helpful comments, specifically where to make my opinion clearer. This will definitely help me to make my essay stronger and assist me ultimately in the end with our final project where i intend to bring all of them together. As for your second peer edit - i agree that there are different degrees of love, however my essay was based upon true love.  Ultimately i believe it is something you must learn to trust in. To believe in fate and that everything happens for a reason. This is where most people are at a loss, because they simply cannot trust in the unknown and have a hard time just flowing.

BECKY'S EDIT:

I do agree with your view that in most cases the words "i love you" gets tossed around meaninglessly and most people use it to describe an overwhelming feeling of liking someone way too fast. I, myself have a boyfriend that i feel i do genually love, i've dated around ALOT in highschool and when im with him i really feel im complete in a way. He's the first person I've ever felt this around. This sounds corny and I'm totally stealing this quote from wedding crashers but i have to agree "TRUE love is the souls recognition of its counterpoint in another." Its something you are not physically looking for, however, its there, your soul feels it.

I, also agree that if you did grow up in a home with divorced parents, listening to fights, or, watching a parent date around relationship to relationship then yes, your idea of love can be extremly altered. You've never seen it for yourself. I am gonna say my parents were highschool sweethearts and have been married for 25 years. also, my sister has been with the same boy for 5 years (since her junior year in highschool). So, i feel i have been surrounded by love and know what it feels like to be love and i really feel it is unfortuante that people feel they are inncapable of loving or to feel it from another. However, love is not lost. you will find it, you just have to give it time. The best things worth finding are things that we weren't even looking for.

                       Becky:  Thanks for reading my casusal argument. I really respect your comments and where you're coming from. I truly believe that true love is rare to find, and those who are lucky enough to find it will have a more fulfilling life than the rest of us i'm sure. If you truly have, I am completely jealous and utterly happy for you. congradulations Becky, i wish you the best. =] great steal btw - wedding crashers is my favorite movie! (well... second, only to ps i love you hahah go figure)

LAUREN DOW'S EDIT:

 YOU WOULD. Just kidding. The way you began your essay is what drew me in, the metaphor of defining love being a hole in smoke. Then I continued reading and found more metaphors which made your essay different, enjoyable to read (also the fact that it's a topic that entrigues most girls). "With age, comes experience ; with experience comes knowledge ; and with knowledge comes wisdom." This is absolutely right, however I feel that there is a point where you can fall in love young, but to actually understand it comes with time and age. People can find love, different types of love. But to find that real, passionate, "true" love is definitly rare. How many people end up in divorce and heart breaking situations? Writing wise you did very well, there weren't any issues that I could find. Good job Apple Sauce.

                    --Lauren:   If 'applesauce' comes back to haunt me as it did througout my middle school life, i shall find you, and torture you as well one love! =p other than that, thanks for your comments. I am completely jealous of those lucky enough to find it, and i wish you luck. =]

***i am aware this is a sensative and easily debatable subject. I chose it in order to have some fun, please don't criticize me too harshly =] ***

Peer Edits:

1. Lauren Dow's population growth

I enjoyed reading Lauren’s (aka: one love) essay because every time I would begin an argument in my head, she would shut me down the very next sentence. The facts were well placed within the essay and she managed to slide them in there without causing me to yawn here and there. Besides that amazing accomplishment, she also tackled the very broad subject of population growth and somehow mentioned every factor I could think of. This subject was well thought out. The only problem I found within the essay was her lack of correct comma usage here and there, specifically in the first few paragraphs. I’m positive that if she were to re-read it she would see the run-on sentences and fix them to make this paper absolutely unbeatable! (I do that all the time, and it is specifically easy when it comes to casual arguments due to the relaxed tone and vocabulary use.) Good luck one love! You’re off to a great start!

2.Saraj Jani's__ __Nature vs Nuture

For starters, I personally became confused by how this person organized her essay. It didn’t flow like most of the other essay’s I have read and she instead just grouped her thoughts into their own disconnected paragraphs. I tend to enjoy essays when they flow from point to point smoothly, but this could possible be a different acceptable way of writing a casual argument that I am just not aware of, however if it were not for the conclusion, It wouldn’t have made as much sense. Either way, throughout the essay, I found that there were some points that were reiterated which I believe hindered the paper. There are a few sentences that follow one another talking about that same point that could easily be processed into one sentence possible making it easier to read the paper and better understand her point. Which brings me to one more inquiry: I thought I understood that the essay was to pick a side and convince the reader of your argument. By the end of this essay the writer seemed convinced both were necessary to develop correct language skills. Overall, in the final draft I would work on re-reading it and combining a couple of the sentences together to create a more precise paper. Ditch the titles for each paragraph and make it one full essay that’s not chopped into parts. If the paragraph requires an introduction, in my opinion, something’s wrong.

3.Jessica Vaughn's moral relativism

This topic intrigued me because 2 of my close friends and I sat down at the table the other day and had a 2 hours discussion on ethics and morals. Each of these subjects constantly resurfaced and I basically pleaded the same side as Jessica here: morals and ethics change from person to person and there is no set standard. It can always change, and things are too 50/50 to make a general statement. My friend brought up broad subjects of love and gay marriage and other moral opinions, but the one he stomped me on ever time, the one subject that forced me to think otherwise every time was simple questions such as “is it morally right to sleep with your cousin.” I personally am not friends with anyone who would assume that is ‘right’ on any basis – which we came to the conclusion that it was because the gene combination causes mental illnesses which is a universal no-no. But then again, one hole in the plan can cause a downslide and totally made my argument slowly fall to pieces. Sure laws can sometimes be ridiculous, but we wouldn’t be here without them. This country wouldn’t have different ethnic backgrounds and cultures if some laws did not exists. But then again, that argument can go anyway. My point is to not point out my own opinions, but to possible give the writer some idea of what others may think and to dispute them. It would make the paper stronger to more flowingly make their own point quickly followed by their argument against what others would typically say. Otherwise, it was a very interesting subject and I’m sure could go on forever. I enjoyed her sense of passion that she conveyed throughout the paper.

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