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Taking the Plunge

Page history last edited by PBworks 14 years, 3 months ago

"Whatever we may say of it, is not it, but only about it" - the Book of Privy Counseling

“Ok I’m going to do it, just close my eyes and grit my teeth and do it,” I said to myself and I slowly push open the heavy moaning door of the changing room after walking down the long, compact hall walk with nothing more than baron white walls. My pace is slow because all of my energy is being used by my racing heart and this is very little left to move my legs and toss my heavy bag on the uncomfortable metal bench that inhabits this room full of dull rusted lockers, broken water pipes, and filthy rodents. My chest rises and falls slowly as I grab my suit and towel out of my bag that felt like thousands of cinderblocks on my back weighing me down and walk behind the wall to the showers and changing rooms. None of the showerheads were on the wall and the no doors were left on their hinges. I chose the changing room in the back corner and began to undress and I thought to myself, “I can do this I can do this.”

I walk slowly back to my bag and toss it in a poor excuse for a locker and start my walk to the plunge. I find myself faced with the most terrifying plain metal door that might as well have been pointing a gun in my face as far as my heart was concerned. Thump thump thump goes the artery in my neck as I work up the force to push this horribly scary door and continue my journey to the high dive. I fill my lungs with as much air as I can and shove the door out of my way. The view is far from beautiful, the pool is nothing more than a cement hole in the ground filled with green water, surrounding this pool are hard wooden rotted lawn chairs. The pool area is complete empty, I am alone to face my fear of the fifteen foot high dive that has made its home in so many men’s dreams, but also no one to tell me no. I find a place for my towel and start my climb up the ladder of the high dive. Each bar is corroded and feels that it is going to snap underneath the grasp of my hand and cease to support my feet. The board seems to be my horizon, I can see it, but can’t reach it. This climb may never end.

The climb is nearly over as I pause and look over to my left and finally notice the palm trees surrounding the pool and the squirrels running around playing tag. This presence of joy by the pool gives me the energy to finish my climb. I lift myself on the board and take a seat at the base trying to take in my view. There are new pvc pipe tables and chairs with beautiful flower chairs and beach volleyball courts in the distance, but the pool is still the same terrifying green and it seems to be a miracle that i have not broken this ancient diving board. I continue to wonder whether I should take the jump and if I find the strength to take the jump. I stood up and started pacing back and forth on the board racking my brain, “Is it too soon? Is it worth it? Should I wait a few more months? I’m too young. This is crazy. But I really do want to and I’ve waited a long time to do this.” And then all of a sudden I ran down the diving board and dove head first in. It seemed like no time at all before I hit the water sending it flying all over the patio area and then I was at the bottom by the drain just waiting with my eyes shut tightly. I was quickly running out air and unable to swim back to the top. I then heard a whisper in my, “Yes.” That one little word gave me the strength to fly up to the surface and when I opened my eyes she was there. Once lips touch and my whole world started to spin I had done it, I took the plunge and survived.

We swam over to the shallow end and walked out of the sand bottom pool hand in hand. We walked over and layed down in a lounge chair arm in arm. The world around us was finally perfect and my heart was now at ease.

 

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