Savannah i loved the research done on your paper you really took the time out to show how much you cared about this topic that you wrote about. It was very descriptive but to the point something i like. You never really strayed off topic always keeping close and keeping the motive clear. Transitions were smooth and nicely connected. Somethings i think you need to work on are repeating yourself i saw it a couple of times but don't worry i always try to pick out one thing that a writer needs to work on and that is all i could find in my opinion. Liked it a lot very strong and factual. - Alex Moser