Cover Page:
-What is your thesis? How did this particular argument come about?
Thesis - Biodiversity is the measure of health in biological systems, that consists of many millions of biological species which have evolved over billions of years. A simple way to put this would be a variation of life at all levels of biological organization. There are several ways to measure biodiversity, ways to show evolution and distribution of biodiversity, and there are many benefits of biodiversity.
Argument - I am not going to lie, I needed something to write the essay on and I ran across biodiversity. And biodiversity was created by evolution and nature.
-Who's your audience and what techniques do you use to make your writing speak to their concerns and interests?
My audience is everyone who is willing to read and I believe I write in a way that allows anyone who is reading to pick up information from this essay.
-Upon reviewing your completed composition (and process), what aspect of your work (or it's process) most surprised you?
I thought that writing this would be a chore but I was surprised that I kind of enjoyed writing on this subject. I also surprised that I was not critiqued as much as I thought I would be(I don't know if that is good or bad).
-Did you learn anything new while growing your composition? Explain.
I started the essay not knowing much or anything about biodiversity. So in the process of writing I learned everything that I aimed to teach the readers in my essay.
-When you use secondary sources, do those sources contribute to ethos, logos, or pathos appeals?
Logo's - In my essay I used information to persuade my audience to view my argument in the same way i do.
-When considering peer feedback as you revised your rough draft, which advice/criticism was most helpful?
I didn't receive much feedback other then on the format of my essay. I corrected my grammatical errors and I believe I strengthened my weak areas, but I don't think that any feedback was more important then any other.
-On your final version, where would you like to see the most feedback and attention from graders?
I don't think that any specific part of my essay deserves more attention then another, but I believe that my closing paragraph is my weakest point.
Grading on my paper
Andrea
Suraj Jani
Scott Kale
Resources:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biodiversity
www.globalissues.org/issue/169/biodiversity
www.biodiversity911.org/
www.eoearth.org/article/Biodiversity
To me the puzzle pieces portrays the fact that our ecosystem must piece together to maintain a healthy biodiversity as one unit.
Daniel Miller Peer Grading
- I am going to be honest. In reading this paper I realized that I cannot hold all papers to the same standards. The others I have read so far have all seemed to share the intention of breaking the reader's misunderstanding of the definition of something. By breaking that definition or at least breaking the reader's presumptions of the topic, the definition would then be redefined to the author's liking. Barry, your essay was different. Yours was, compared to others, less concerned with the misconceptions of the audience and spoke as if to someone completely uninitiated. I suppose I only found this odd because I believe that my understanding of biodiversity is pretty sound. I certainly had little reason to believe otherwise, as you didn't intensely challenge what I thought I knew about it. So instead I decided to look at your paper through the eyes of a reader who had no knowledge of the subject. In this realm, your paper exceeded: your intention seemed to be to inform the reader. I am inherently a benevolent grader, and perhaps this will be evident through my assessment of your essay.
If you would please excuse my negative bias, I will mostly point out the reasons that I would deduct points from a perfect score rather than enumerate all of your triumphs. I only do this in the interest of time.
In light of the way I decided to read your essay, I think that you were successful in describing the nature of biodiversity to those uninitiated in the topic. In the eyes of elitist academics, this paper might be considered somewhat plain. I, however, believe that it suits your goals well to write in such a clear and simple way such that your audience (everyone) can understand across the board. Heavy-handed language would perhaps not be well suited in informing those people who are not aware of biodiversity. You write like an ordinary person to be easily understood by ordinary people. This I think adds to the appeal and the effectiveness of your writing, especially for your intended audience.
So what did you do wrong? I'll be kind, but only as much as I can stand to be. You were informing the reader of the definition of Biodiversity through specific examples. Your examples were apt, and did well to further your goals. Unfortunately, you did not provide support for the source of this evidence. This severely affected the ethos of your argument. You should have perhaps cited where you got your information, or perhaps added links to the sources. Because this was my primary grievance with your essay, I will only dock you for it, as all other issues paled in comparison.
23/25
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